Are we all here? Yes - for once. All tried, trusted and true, because if anyone gets wind of this we will be So. Very. Dead. Low voices, undercurrent of tension, nerves keyed up to breaking point. And speaking of keys, if you mess this up I do not doubt that she will slash you across the face with the one she's got in her hand. Blades flashing in the moonlight, glints of sharpened steel, one for each of us because she has plenty to go round. Her face is inscrutable, impossible to read in the darkness, but the cigarette lighter illuminates her features for a moment before it is extinguished, plunging the world back into oblivion.

Why is she our leader?

Because she's crazy and she has the scars to prove it. Because she's terrifying and we don't dare to cross her. Because she's beautiful and she has us all under her spell, me included. Because she's been wronged and we need to avenge her. Because we love her and would do anything to make her smile.

Pile up the boxes, dump them in the boot any old how because we're in a hurry here. The last thing we need is for the police to show up and attempt to drag legality into the proceedings. What we're doing is far removed from the laws that they seek to enforce, and our quarrel is not with them. The laws we break are older and darker than these, and when we are summoned to plead our case, it is before a far higher court that we must acquit ourselves.

Pile into the car, do up your seatbelts. Don't act so hardcore - just do it. You'll need it with her in the driver's seat. Frantic spinning of wheels, clouds of smoke, then purchase on the concrete and sudden acceleration. Squealing of tyres, burn marks on the bitumen and we're on our way.

Lynx, cigarette smoke, clean t-shirts and burnt rubber. Wind down the windows and feel the fresh air whip past, see the moonlight flood the sky and illuminate the open road, and feel an uncontrollable, savage joy well up inside. We might have to fight our way through hell before the night is over, but for now we're enjoying a little piece of heaven.